My Discovery

Jessica Suhn

It was just an ordinary morning about the same as any other. I did not want to get out of bed; but I could hear my mother’s footsteps coming up the stairs. From an early age I had learned to dread those footsteps that softly told me it was time to leave my wonderful bed and face a new day. However, this day would cause a monumental change not only in my whole summer, but in my life as well.

I was unsure of myself the day I made my audition tape for the Oregon Bach Festival’s Youth Choral Academy. You ask, “Well, what is the Bach Festival?” It is a three week music festival which takes place in Eugene, Oregon and emphasizes the music of composer Johann Sebastian Bach. People literally come from all around the world to participate in it by singing with a choir, playing an instrument in one of the orchestras, conducting either a choir or orchestra, and giving solo performances. The Youth Choral Academy is a select choir strictly for high school vocalists. It is one of the highest level high school choirs you will find anywhere. Live auditions are held in different parts of the United States. One may also audition by submitting a tape of the required exercises plus a song of your choice. In my situation, being from rural Kansas, I chose to submit an audition tape. Then I waited. One week, two weeks, three weeks…

Then finally that morning, when my mother came in to awaken me, she brought the news that the Youth Choral Academy had posted the names of those it had accepted on the Internet. Yes, I had made it! Being naïve and having really no idea what I was getting into I readily assumed that being accepted into the choir was the hard part. I was mistaken! The hardest part for me was when I discovered that I had to come with the entire ten piece repertoire for our final concert prepared and that we would be tested on this music when we arrived. From a thirty-six page Bach motet, all in German, to a strange jungle-like chant, the task before me seemed insurmountable. Extremely unsure of myself I began to dig my way through the seemingly endless measures of notes, erratic rhythms and unfamiliar languages. I really wasn’t sure what I had gotten into.

All too soon I was flying over the beautiful mountains to Oregon with my nervous stomach questioning my decision to come in the first place. Before I knew what was happening, I was walking into the ominous, concrete structure that would be home for the next eleven days. One other thing that had been on my mind was whether I would be able to get along with my roommate. I was unpacking all my shoes when she walked into the room. The first thing I noticed about her was her height of just under five feet tall. The suitcase she wheeled behind her seemed to be as tall as she. Her height was immediately overcome by her warm, lively personality. I told her that this was my first year so I was rather unsure about everything. She immediately reassured me, “This is my third year to come to the Bach Festival. It is unlike anything you could imagine! You are going to love it!!” I thought saying that I was going to love it was probably taking it too far.

The music check was next and it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it might have been. Breathing a sigh of relief, I looked forward to our first rehearsal that evening together as a choir. As I walked into our rehearsal room I observed four long rows going from either side of the room. Not knowing what I was doing, I sat in the third one next to a girl who had the look of newness on her face that I am sure was similar to mine. A big, burly bass approached us with a twinkle in his eye, “I see two sopranos have joined my section,” he boomed. I looked with confusion at the girl next to me and gradually understanding dawned on both our faces--four rows--the first two rows were for the girls, the second two for the boys. We both moved as quickly as possible to sit with our section rather embarrassed that we had been sitting in the bass section.

Having had time to recover from my mistake, I was now sitting in the right section. Staring eagerly at the conductor for the signal to start singing, I was unprepared for the result. Never before had I heard such beauty and oneness as I heard from this choir. The thought that I was one of the many making this incredible sound was overwhelming. I was overcome by the power of the sound in the hand of our conductor as we moved as one with him. The tone and emotion of the song taking flight was one of the most memorable moments of my life. I was in love with this choir and with the days that would follow.
For the next eleven days music was everywhere. We talked it, moved with it, studied it--nothing was devoid of music. It was the very fabric of our existence coming through in everything that we did. For me, it was like heaven on earth. I felt a oneness with the people that surrounded me that was unimaginable. The friendships I made, the things that I learned about people, about feelings, and most importantly about music will stay with me for the rest of my life.
All too soon it was time for our final performance. In the air we could feel the nervous anticipation as we all waited for the moment we would walk onto the stage and be all we had been taught to be. It was an incredible feeling. The performance center was beautiful; the stage was set with all eyes on us as we walked in slowly one by one. The risers creaked beneath our weight. Even the slightest sound seemed to be heard by everyone. Our bodies screamed tension as we all mentally prepared to sing our first note. Then onto the stage walked our conductor smiling that smile of encouragement that spoke clearly, “You are going to be great.” Instantly, our tension melted like butter and we smiled back the smile that said, “Yes, we are ready.” With heads held high and confidence that can only be inspired, we sang.
Our moment of glory ended all too soon. The roar of applause died and the last bow was taken. Now it was time to say goodbye. Goodbyes are never easy, but if you have hope that in the future you will say hello again it softens the hard blow of goodbye. So I say goodbye, Oregon. Thank you for all you taught me about myself; and for helping me to discover the music that lives inside of me. I will never forget you!